More Martinis, Please

After all is said and done, downmarket American humorist Dave Barry nails the real true takeaway from the election:

In analyzing the results of Tuesday’s historic election, the question we must ask ourselves, first and foremost, is: what the heck were the results of Tuesday’s historic election?

I personally don’t know. The Miami Herald made me send in this analysis before the election was actually over, so that it could be printed in a timely manner…

…We are bitterly divided, because whoever wins, roughly half of us will despise the other half, and vice versa.

You know what I miss? I miss 1960. Not the part about my face turning overnight into the world’s most productive zit farm. What I miss is the way the grown-ups acted about the Kennedy-Nixon race. Like the McCain-Obama race, that was a big historic deal that aroused strong feelings in the voters. This included my parents and their friends, who were fairly evenly divided, and very passionate. They’d have these major honking arguments at their cocktail parties. But unlike today, when people wear out their upper lips sneering at those who disagree with them, the 1960s grown-ups of my memory, whoever they voted for, continued to respect each other and remain good friends.

What was their secret? Gin. On any given Saturday night they consumed enough martinis to fuel an assault helicopter. But also they were capable of understanding a concept that we seem to have lost, which is that people who disagree with you politically are not necessarily evil or stupid. My parents and their friends took it for granted that most people were fundamentally decent and wanted the best for the country. So they argued by sincerely (if loudly) trying to persuade each other. They did not argue by calling each other names, which is pointless and childish, and which constitutes I would estimate 97 percent of what passes for political debate today.

What I’m saying is: we, as a nation, need to drink more martinis.

No, you know what I’m saying. I’m saying, now that this election is over, whatever the hell happened, can we please grow up and stop being so nasty to each other? Please?

I try to make this point aloud when possible, but the opportunity doesn’t arise all that often. It’s disheartening that we’ve allowed partisanship to get in the way of friendly (even if spirited. Ahem) dialogue. We have to stop demonizing The Other Side, and we have to stop settling for the lowest common denominator in our conversations about politics, government and current events.

Also, more martinis.